Black Lives Matter: Self Care Tips

While these last few weeks have been hard on everyone, it’s been especially challenging for black people in America – Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Chris Cooper, George Floyd. Peaceful protests turned to violence after police (and government) utilized excessive, and often unnecessary, force; including the use of teargas, tazers, and rubber bullets to obtain control over protestors – while also violating their constitutional and civil rights. All while in the midst of a global pandemic that has disproportionately sickened and killed black people.

Amid all of this, it can be hard to continue to put your wellbeing at the forefront. But like the great black feminist and civil rights activist, Audre Lorde once said, “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

If you are feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed right now, here are some things you can do that might aid in providing a bit of relief.

Make sure you’re meeting your basic needs

When you’re already feeling bad, skipping on basic self-care will only make you feel worse. Remember to eat. Stay hydrated. Get enough sleep. Create a tidy and clear environment. Care for your personal hygiene.

Let yourself feel your feelings.

Pushing negative feelings away doesn’t help you process them.

If you’re feeling angry – an emotion that is typically rooted in sadness or fear – know that that’s OK. Consider taking a day or half-day off to rest and recharge or sit with your grief without worry of being productive. If you don’t have that option right now, think about how to make time in your schedule to intentionally care for yourself.

Psychology Today therapist Ryan Howes said that moving your body in some way (like working out, dancing or painting furiously, stomping around while listening to angry music) can be a good way to process anger. Howes continues by saying it’s a good idea to think about why you’re so pissed while you’re moving. “Get that off your chest as you’re doing the physical stuff, and it will provide some relief. That helps your brain come back online to be able to think, OK, what do I really want to do about this?”

Find ways to connect with other black people

In times like these, it may help to join a Facebook or Slack group for black people who share some of your interests (like a community of black book lovers or black parents), or even just listening to a podcast with a black host – anything that helps you remember that you’re not alone in your experiences and your grief.

Alter your media exposure

A lot of black people feel obligated to bear witness to what is happening right now—to read the articles, to look at the photos and videos of protests, to consume every single Twitter thread.

While it is important to not look away or numb yourself to what is happening, there is a limit to the things we, as black people, can carry right now. (Also, a lot of what is being shared right now is intended to raise awareness among white people.) If possible, give yourself permission to only read the news twice a day, for no more than 30 minutes at a time. Remember that you can stay informed without being glued to news or commentary every waking minute.

Set firm boundaries around engaging with people 

Having to manage other people’s feelings in this moment— whether those people are well-meaning, would-be allies, or bad faith actors— is just too much, and it’s not your job as a black person. Give yourself permission to opt-out of conversations of educating others and ignore those who may be trying to bait you into an argument or debate.

A lot of great information exists for those interested in learning – including this list of ways white people can take action in response to state-sanctioned violence.